Yesterday, I went to gather my parent’s mail while they are out of town. Their next door neighbors (and a friend of ours,) were moving their things out. Their divorce is finalized, and the close on the house in two weeks. So, it was the official dividing of the stuff day. Their relationship was about as far from perfect as it can get. He was emotionally abusive, and overall just as immature as you can get.
Well, we say hello to the guy we will call Stupid. I ask if his wife who we will call Scared was inside. She was. I go in and give her a giant hug, because today could in no way be easy. I bring her some large bags to pack with from my parents’ house, and get ready to leave. Then, Stupid decides that he doesn’t like some of the things Scared is taking, despite the fact they are written in their divorce decree. So Stupid decides he is going to pull a recliner out of the truck. Scared says, “No, you can’t have that. It’s in the divorce. It’s mine. Stop.” Stupid keeps on being stupid. He yells, “Fine! I’m calling the police,” and runs in the house. Stupid locks every door in the house, and proceeds to go through Scared’s purse. She knocks on the door, and says calmly, “Stupid, I’m calling the police.” He unlocks the door, and shoves a cell phone down her shirt. Calls her a name that I won’t repeat. Then throws and entire bottle of sweet tea at her. She comes running out of the house looking scared. Mind you we can hear and see most of this in their driveway.
Scared decides to just leave. The situation isn’t worth it. She has a male friend in from out of town (just a friend, he’s married, and they are all friends) helping with the move. Thank heavens. Well, things still aren’t going how Stupid wanted them to. My husband senses somethings off, and hands me his soda and keys. Stupid grabs Scared, and shoves her hard against the truck. Now Scared is more than scared. He then shoves her into the lawn, grabbing both her shoulders. My husband grabs Stupid, and thanks to past military training restrains him easily. I believe he hit Stupid’s diaphragm so he couldn’t breathe. My husband says not so nicely what Stupid needs to do and go. Thank heaven he does. Scared, hugs my husband and is shaking.
Long story short, Stupid doesn’t come back. We make the executive decision while Scared is getting boxes that we will not allow her to be in that house for one more night. She isn’t safe. So, we took apart her bed. We packed a five bedroom house yesterday. Fridge, washer, dryer, couches, you name it. The four of us moved it.
The moral of the story is, Scared and I were sitting on the porch talking, and she says this,
“I just don’t know who I am anymore. I feel like I’m a stranger to myself. I hardly recognize my life. Sometimes I just dont’t know what to do. How do I get past this?”
That could be so many of us saying that statement. I posted something similar to that a few weeks ago. Sometimes in life we don’t have to go through something similar to understand what it is like to feel lost, scared, and alone. Friendship can be so messy. We could have walked away and said, “Hell no, are we going to be a part of all of that! We don’t need any of this!” However, sometimes being a friend means getting down and dirty with your friends dirty laundry, towels, comfortable, and even couches. We all lug things around that can wear us down. We crack, things get messy, but at the end of the day we are all just plain human.
I hugged scared and said this,
“I know how you feel. Sometimes it feels as if you are lost at sea. You can’t figure out where you are or where you are going. All you know is you feel sick. You feel like things just can’t get worse, and the next thing you know you fall overboard. Now, you feel like you are treading water, and praying just to keep your head above it. You start to appreciate every breathe you manage. Don’t worry though, eventually you will find your way back to shore. When you get there, I’ll be waiting with a really strong drink for you. I promise.”
We
Are
All
Human.
