Public Outing

Yesterday was a fun girl’s day out.  I did my neighbor the favor of going with her to get her absolutely gorgeous beyond words daughter’s Christmas pictures done.  Her husband was supposed to go, but work ended up chaining him to a pipe somewhere and refused to let him go.  So, I went in his place.  The pictures were beautiful, and we left with them in our hot little hands.  Now that’s a service I can appreciate, no waiting!

So, afterwards we headed for a Starbucks, played with the trains in Barnes and Noble.  Then, out to the mall for more girly chit chat.  Our last stop was due to the plea of my neighbor’s dad who desperately wanted to see the pictures of his grandbaby.  So, we stopped, and went on in.  We are introduced to the entire staff.   I look a lot like my neighbor, and they all thought I was her sister K (who is also a friend of mine.)  Here’s how the conversation went:

Worker:  “Are you K’s (my neighbor) sister?”

K: “Nope, she’s my friend and neighbor.  I love her, and she’s never allowed to work again!  We’ve been having too much fun!”  (Side note:  I love this woman, she’s fun to be around, appreciates your time, and always tell you how much she loves and appreciates you.)

Me:  “Yes, this is the longest I’ve been out of work, and K has been a great friend and neighbor to live next too.  Not to mention the added benefit of playing with little K (her daughter, never realized how many K’s there were in that family.)”

W: “Why haven’t you worked?”  (A question I found rude, but predictable.)

M:  “My husband and I are going through infertility treatment, and the employer I had was not flexible.  Coming in even one morning early, was a bit much for him.  So, it’s been nine months now.”  (NINE MONTHS.  That’s how long it takes to have a baby, and we are still trying.)

W:  (Thinks how to responds and says this) “Bummer.  Sounds like a long and hard process.  I’m about to get married, and hope that doesn’t happen to us.”

M:  “Well, I hope not too!” 

I smiled pretty, and am happy that every time I tell people the truth it because easier.  An infertile isn’t who I am, it’s what’s happening to me.  I may be infertile my entire life, but I won’t let it define who I am.  I don’t mind answering the questions of why are you home.  The answers are simple, treatments, less stress may help, with flexibility you can get in earlier with the docs, and it’s as much a mental break as a physical one.  I’ve collected myself, and am standing taller now.  I have more to give.  So, my public outing,  made me chuckle at how much my neighbor loves being our neighbor and friend.  We do dinners in our pajamas, bring leftovers to each others house, and just enjoy the fact we are so comfortable together.

So, today I am going to watch baby K, because while we we were out the doctor’s office called neighbor K.  She has a lump in her breast.  It isn’t getting smaller.  So, she’s going in for a mammogram today.  She had a small break down moment yesterday, and I  wished I could have hugged her but it would have lead to more crying.  I know she’s nervous, and I can only imagine how squeezing her 34DDD’s is going to be.  They are real, she’s a size four.  She just lost 60 pounds, none of it in her boobs.  In no way pretentious, 5′ tall, and way too perky, but cute.  So, let’s wish her well. Ok?