Are we there yet?

If I missed you on my email for the post below this one, please email me.  It’s late, and I’m tired. 

armsforanangel@yahoo.com 

  Becky

Lara over at Little Beans 4 Me, recently received an insensitive email.  We’ve all been there, and if you could show her a bit of support, I’m sure she’d appreciate it.  I told her I would post my adapted version of her sister in law’s email.  Feel free to add to it, and perhaps she can forward it to her!

Before I was Infertile
I never threw boxes of tampons in pure devastation or cried to songs on the radio, because they hit too close to home.
I didn’t worry whether or not my foods were poisonous to conception.
I never thought about the effects of taking Tylenol.Before I was an infertile woman I had never:
Had my blood drawn so many times.
Known so much about my reproductive organs.
Realized just how much I need support, love, patience, and understanding.Understood how insensitive some people are, and not just to my own cause.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.Before I was Infertile
I never held down screaming tears so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a bit of good news.
I never sat up late hours at night wondering whether or not we should change our protocol.Before I was Infertile

My husband never held a weeping wife just because somebody didn’t understand the
consequences of their words they said to me.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I
couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much who doesn’t even exist yet.
I never knew I could love my husband so much.Before I was Infertile -
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart on my sleeve, and in the hands of a doctor and my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to simply have hope in my corner.
I didn’t know that bond between a husband, a wife, and their RE.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so torn, happy, sad, and in general confused.Before I was Infertile -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok, and that my period hadn’t showed, my embryos were still safe, or that I wasn’t having a miscarriage..
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the friendship of so many other women out there sharing this same journey.

Something I’ve learned this year…gardening!  I’ve had a notorious black thumb in the past, but not this year!  I’ve taken great care with my annuals in the front yard, my vegetable garden, and perennials in the back yard.  This is a picture of a plant we have grown from just plain ‘ol seeds!

Also to answer the, “Where are you happiest” request…at home in my own bed.  Ahhh, the sound of my ocean waves cd, attempting to dull the loud freight train (that has to be snoring now or it is too quiet, and I can’t fall asleep) sleeping next to me.  It’s just comfy and home.