Are we there yet?

It’s never good when the doctor tells you he can hear your lungs crackle.  The doc comes in and says, “The good news is that it isn’t pneumonia.  I really thought it was.  Turns out you just have a really bad case of bronchitis.” 

Uh huh.  Great.  Just freakin’ ducky.  To speed up my recovery, because I REFUSE to be sick while we are at Disney, he gave me a rather painful shot in the butt.  “Are you afraid of needles?” the nurse asks.  “I sure as heck hope not, because I’m doing IVF in April.”  So, I just considered today a trial bravery run.

So, Justin has strep throat and a sinus infection.  I have bronchitis and a sinus infection.  We’re just two peas in a pod.  Think healthy thoughts for us, and pray the little guy doesn’t catch the funk that we have!

Lucky bites.  HARD.  He breaks skin.  Any tips out there on how to stop my nine month old with eight freakin’ teeth from biting?  Seriously, this has to stop and now.

Martie Maquire of the Dixie Chicks is expecting her third daughter courtesy of IVF!

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2008/01/martie-maguire.html

For those who wish to view new Lucky pictures, they are up on the parenting page.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a marine biologist.  I had an intimate love affair with all thing oceanic.  I had read Jacques Cousteau’s account of marine life from cover to cover.  Trips whale watching, to Sea World, and the zoo would thrill me beyond belief.  If I have to admit, they still do.  I would imagine myself all grown up wearing a khaki pair of shorts standing in the ocean with a marvelous tan.  I imagined myself as the kind of woman who could throw her hair up with nothing but a number two pencil and have it look fabulous.  I was earthy yet chic.

The teenager in me continued this dream, and off to college in South Carolina majoring in what else, marine biology.  In one day my entire life changed.  I sat in my very first marine science class.  The professor arrogantly stood up and said, “What is XX + YY times Z.  If you can’t figure this out in your head you should leave now.”  What an ass.  Math was my weakness, at least so I thought.  I just can’t do it well in my head.  Being naive, I took his word for it, and changed my major that day to undeclared.  Looking back, I know now he was full of it and himself.  However, it took me too long to realize that he was wrong.  There was no turning back.  I still regret this. 

For a very long time I stayed in a state of being The Woman I Never Thought I’d Turn Out To Be.  For five years I spent drifting, second guessing, and hating who I was.  How pitiful, and what a sad waste of time.  I was nowhere near reaching any of the goals I had once set for myself.  One day I was walking in the mall, and passed a woman wearing khaki shorts with a plain white tee on, and her hair pulled up into place with a chopstick.  She had stolen my childhood version of the Woman I Always Thought I Would Be.  Her chances of being a marine biologist had to have been limited since this was in upstate New York.  However, it changed me in some way.  It was almost a sign to get my butt in gear.

After I saw her, it was less than a year later that I divorced.  However, it has taken many many years for me to just now start building my own new and improved grown up version of the Woman I Want Become.  I am firmly understanding now the Woman That I Am.  Dare I whisper that I’m starting to kind of like her?  I guess what I’m saying is that I was looking at my road map of life upside down.  My compass was broken, and I lost sight of the big picture. 

It took slowing down, time, and finding my footing in life to get back down to the business of enjoying life.  I’m getting the hang of it.  I caught myself laughing the other morning, my hair pulled up in a ponytail, in my flannel pajamas.  This is the Woman That I Am, and I’m going to enjoy being her while she’s around, for life continues to mold us with every little obstacle we encounter.  I’m not exactly positive who she will become, but for once, I’m excited to find out!

So, Woman That I Am…

Flannel Pajamas, early to rise, ponty tail loving, kitten heel wearing, must have breakfast, coffee lover, husband kisser, eye roller, stubborn, witty, silly, emotional, extroverted, stealer of the covers, passionate about travel, loyal, opinionated, polite, door slammer, foot stomper, hands on hip when arguing, foot tapper when annoyed, chocolate craver, task oriented list maker, oh, heck the list is endless and always changing!

 Who is the Woman that You Are, and how is she different from the Woman You Thought You’d Be, The Woman You Were, and The Woman You Want To Be?

I’ve never done one of those posts that is addressed to my little on their monthly anniversary of their birth.  It wasn’t a conscious decision, but just something I’ve never manged to pull off.  However, tomorrow marks nine months.  I’m not sure why that leaves me so in awe.  Perhaps it is because it marks the time that he has been in this world as long as he was in the womb. 

I’ve never questioned myself as to whether or not I’m Lucky’s mother.  I felt that way from the second he was placed in my arms.  Rather, there’s something mentally in me that feels almost as if his biological mother and I are now on level ground.  (Yes, I know this sounds crazy.)  She carried him for nine, and I have carried him for nine.  No, not like a competition.  Hmm, not sure I’m making much sense here. 

I never had the chance to feel him wriggle around inside me, but he’s wiggled his little self completely into my heart.  I never felt him kick me from the inside, but surely have after placing him in bed to snuggle for an hour before getting up for some breakfast.  I didn’t create him, but he has created a whole new life for me.  I’m beyond touched to be his mother.  Now, if I could just get him to stop biting and pinching! 

Happy nine beautiful months Lucky.  I love you.

So, Dancing with the Stars kicked some serious butt.  We had an absolute blast!  The choreography was top notch, the dancers were phenomenal, the singers beyond talented, and the entire experience was so fun! 

We leave in less than ten days to go to Disney World, and I am so excited!  Justin’s company doesn’t give them much time off each year, and I’m really looking forward to him getting a break and having some fun.  He needs and deserves it!

The house is officially on the market, and we are now playing the when will it sell waiting game.  This is truly not all that fun, because let’s face it an almost nine month old wants to make messes and play.  This leaves me picking up everything behind him just in case somebody wants to take a look.  The average house in my development sells in sixty days.  So, sixty days of making sure there is no laundry visible, floors are vacuumed daily, dishes are all clean, counters are empty, and in general the house is spotless.  I’m tired just typing that.  Let’s hope for a quick sell.

We went to the builder’s showroom of our new home.  This is what our new home will look like:

Umm, not much else to report at the moment.  Back to cleaning my already clean house.

There will be a “For Sale” sign in my front yard tomorrow.  This is real.  Somebody pinch me already!

2 Days Ago 

Justin: ”So, your dad and I went to look at a house today.”

Becky:  “Really?  Where?”

J:  “Right around the corner.  They are really nice.  Much bigger than the house we have right now, and not all that expensive.  In fact, they are a really good deal.  Maybe you and your mom might want to go and look at them tomorrow.”

B:  “Are you suggesting that we leave our little love nest of a home?”

J:  “The toys are taking over.  The walls are closing in around us, and soon there will only be one little pathway throughout the entire house.  Just sayin’.”

B:  “Ok, we’ll go and look.”

Yesterday:

We went and looked at the three model plans, and decided that we were beyond thrilled to have two of the three of them.  Turns out that we will get to double our square footage and still remain in an affordable price range.  We took home the floor plan and called the real estate agent to have them come out to discuss putting our house on the market. 

Today:

Got approved for our new loan, went to the showroom and picked out every stinkin’ aspect from siding to kitchen sinks, bathtub to carpeting, tile to light fixtures, and cleaned the house from TOP to BOTTOM.  It looks stunning.

Tomorrow:

Real estate lady comes to get the ball rolling.

Thursday:

If all systems are go, we put our $100 holds your lot until your house is sold money down to the builder.

Friday:

Lucky’s bio mom has her TPR court date. 

Saturday:

Leave very early in the morning for Nashville to see the Dancing with the Stars Tour, and spend the night having a blast.  Come home on Sunday.

Sunday:

Die from utter exhaustion.

Am I shocked?  No.  This is just another show looking for ratings, but it appals me.  Perhaps we are forgetting that infertility is a personal and painful medical condition.  How each person (male or female) decides to deal with it is up to them and their medical professional.  I would never presume to tell a cancer patient what method of treatment they should pursue.  I would also never tell them when it is time to call it quits. While death may not be an outcome of infertility, there is definite fallout from it’s effects. 

So here is the call from the Tyra Banks show.  A show that I have lost any minuscule amount of respect that I once had for it.  While we threw Oprah under the bus for her insensitivity to the subject.  I can only imagine the fallout for Tyra.

“DO YOU KNOW A WOMAN OBSESSED WITH BECOMING PREGNANT?
Do you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom? Have you seen and heard her struggle for years, felt her unvoiced jealously and seen her desperation first hand? Have you watched silently for too long as she gets her hopes up only to be disappointed and heartbroken when she can’t conceive? Has she tried extreme methods and spent a lot of money to get pregnant with no luck? Do you want to finally tell her she needs to stop the emotional and physical stress on her body and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative? If you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom and getting pregnant, then SUBMIT BELOW.

http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/beontheshow/mom_wannabe.html

Melwrote about this on Januray 10th.  Forever Reachingwas in the audience and spoke.  So, there you have it.  Go ahead and submit your thoughts to Tyra.  I did.