I should label it “All things poop related.” No, I’m not kidding. If you are brave read on.
There I was bathing the cherub in the tub. Then, I hear a faint grunting noise. My eyes widen, my heart rate increases, and you hear a very quiet “Shit!” under my breathe. I quickly snag the munchkin out of the tub. One very small nugget of poop was visible in it. I put him over the toilet dripping wet, while I reach for a towel. Then, another small grunt from my wet one. One more nugget falls on the floor.
Then, things move more quickly. I begin moving quickly towards the changing table, but before I do, there is a very large mass running down my pants and…..ALL OVER my toes. Not just on, but in between my toes. Then, a loud grunt produces a very large pile of it on the floor next to the changing table. I get the poop machine on the changing table and he relieves himself all over that too. I clumsily reach for wipes, because the stuff on my toes cannot stay there for another second longer.
I get as much off as I can with one hand on the child. I then decide to unbuckle my jeans and pull them off, using them to wipe my feet. Gross. I then wrangle a diaper on the wee one. I place him in his crib, nice and safe. I on the other hand, sit down and take in the disaster that is now his nursery and the ugly side of being a parent. Oh man, the room was nasty. Then, I look at his grinning face staring at me over the railing. His smile fades, and he grasps the railings and proceeds to grunt some more, using the railing as leverage. The end result was one more nasty diaper.
The moral of this story? Let your kid go in the tub. It’s WAY easier to clean up a bath tub than to have to steam clean carpet, wash poopy clothes, change the changing table, and get poop off of your feet. Yeah, moving him was where I went wrong. Lesson learned! I’m sure there’s more than one lesson in there somewhere, but I’ll let you find it on your own.
Not much else to report.
