“So, is motherhood all you expected it to be?” she asked me. It was such a simple question. A simple question that made me simply want to exclaim, “What the hell are you talking about? I’ve been a mother now for two years. Why are you asking me this now?” Alas, I kept all my inner angst inside and smiled sweetly as I replied, “For the past two years it’s been all that and then some.” I never let on that my inner self was begging my outer self to inquire why she was asking such a silly question.
This question has been asked of me repeatedly since Genevieve’s arrival. It begs me to ask if people think that parenting an adopted child is somehow different than parenting one you gave birth to. The answer is no. You are still wiping poopy butts, still getting up at two am, still dealing with temper tantrums, still kissing boo boos, still wanting to scream when you’ve mopped your floor for the second time in one day, still trying to raise a child to the best of your ability, still loving it when they are behaving, and wanting to cry when they aren’t. There is simply no difference. Yet, here I am still being treated as if I’m a first time mom. It feels just plain awkward and wrong to be asked this question now.
I wouldn’t have had the same inner reaction if the friend of mine hadn’t seen me in a long time. However, this isn’t the case.
Moving on. Why oh why, must people constantly ask questions such as, “So, is that your kid?”, “Is that one yours?”, or “Are they cousins?” Yes, I have one white child with copper colored hair and one brown baby with blue eyes. We are a unique looking family, and I expect people to stare. People are curious, and I get that. What I don’t understand are invasive and just plain rude questions. I’ve learned to take them in stride and not let my blood boil. I’ve been practicing my sweetest smile accompanied with an easy question, “Why do you ask?” Enough already. Yes, my absolutely beautiful son is very much mine. I love him beyond words, and if you make him even remotely uncomfortable with your uneducated, insensitive, and just plain old annoying questions, I’m going to kick you in the damn shin. Grrr…ignorance sucks.
My husband has been out of town for two of the last three weeks. Talk about challenging! I’ve gained much confidence in my abilitites to be creative and multitask without him around. I’ve also gained a new appreciation for those serving in our nations armed services. The ones left to care for the children all alone are tough cookies. Simply being the one to have to take the trash out was stinky. I’ve come to appreciate that it doesn’t have to always be done my way. Sometimes I’m just happy to not have to do it myself.
In a moment of miscommunication between my mother and me, I left the diaper bag on the ground outside of the car the other day. I backed my car onto it, and in the process destroyed my digital camera. I take pictures daily. The loss of my camera has affected me in a way I never expected. I didn’t realize just how important it was to me to capture so many moments that I share with the little people. It surprised me how much a piece of electronic equipment can mean to me. I’m going to have to buy a new one, but that means money.
Little Miss has been the fussiest baby ever lately. I’ve learned to better cope this second go around. I’m a bit surprised by that. Have I managed to learn a bit more patience? Why yes! Yes, I have! We’ve just switched to the gentle formula and are wishing we could have a M.ylicon IV drip put in. That’s the “you lose some” part. The good news is she only wakes up once in the night. That was the “win some” part.
Here’s where I wonder. Nearly every night Braden wakes up at the same time Eve does. I know he can’t hear her. I’ve left her crying in our room to tend to him in his. The rooms are on opposite sides of the house. You can’t hear her in his room. Yet, he wakes up within five minutes of her. It’s strange in a cool but not so great kind of way. Makes me wonder if they will be close. I sure hope so.
We’ve discovered Braden has really bad allergies. His meds total about $50 a month. Without them he is a screaming banshee. Poor kid. Within a week of taking the meds, he began to talk. It was amazing! The little man couldn’t hear! Life has not been the same since. He now enjoys standing on the coffee table and serenading anyone who will listen. I’m not sure who he gets this from…ahem. Let’s just hope is vocal abilities are better than his mom’s.
Now, that you’ve read this far, I just want to say thanks. We’ve got a busy weekend ahead of us with a trip to the local children’s museum for a birthday party, a trip to the Nashville zoo, and much laundry and cleaning to be done around our home. Enjoy your weekend everybody….
