Letter to my husband 5 minutes ago.

You can come home any time now.

Please oh please tell your son that condiments belong in the fridge, pee goes in the potty (not your shoes,) and that he does not need tools to take apart the fridge.  It is functioning quite nicely as it is.  While you are at it remind him that his food is for him not his baby sister.  Kindly teach him that toys are not for running into his mother or to be used at weapons of mass destruction.

I love you,

me