I was in Bar.nes and N.ob.le yesterday when a magazine cover caught me off guard. It wasn’t one of those guilty pleasure gossip mags, but the Ec.onomi.st. Scratching your head yet? The headline was this:

Check out the article here.

The short version: Infertility has great benefits economically.

A snippet:

“Slowing fertility has other benefits. By making it easier for women to work, it boosts the size of the labour force. Because there are fewer dependent children and old people, households have more money left for savings, which can be ploughed into investment. Chinese household savings (obviously influenced by many things, not just demography) reached almost 25% of GDP in 2008, helping to finance investment of an unprecedented 40% of GDP. This in turn accounted for practically all the increase in Chinese GDP in the first half of this year.”

That’s just lovely. However, I would rather have less money to plunk into investments. I want my investments to come in the forms of hugs and kisses. I understand that’s not what your magazine is all about. I just feel the need to point out that there is more to life than dollar signs. Not to mention, not every woman wants to work. Some choose to stay home. Having children isn’t chaining me to my home. I could still go forth and be a part of the work force. There are plenty of wonderful day cares I could send my children to, just out of person preference I don’t.

Regardless, it was an unemotional look at how fertility rates are effecting global population.

I want to know how it is that everybody seems to know somebody who was adopted, yet shows like The Forgotten last night make such stupid comments about it. Somebody should have spoken up! Rest assured, I am real. My husband is real. My children are real, and so is my love for them. We are Braden’s “real family.” The media needs to get it right! Anybody else catch that?

Follow previous instructions with ID #169488295.  Thanks!

We aren’t sure what is taking so long for Braden’s approval, but Genevieve is ready to be voted for!  Would you mind taking a second?

http://family.go.com/gapcastingcall/entries/TheWinksFamily/319488981/

You can come home any time now.

Please oh please tell your son that condiments belong in the fridge, pee goes in the potty (not your shoes,) and that he does not need tools to take apart the fridge.  It is functioning quite nicely as it is.  While you are at it remind him that his food is for him not his baby sister.  Kindly teach him that toys are not for running into his mother or to be used at weapons of mass destruction.

I love you,

me

I really could use to dye my hair.  I’ve had to dye it for a couple of years now, or I have this beautiful silver hair that decides to sprout from the most visible locations that frame my face.  I’m just a little to young to be sporting silver hair.  My toes are also quite neglected, but rest assured they will be tended to before next Thursday.  Why next Thursday?  We leave for our cruise then!

I’m staring at empty suitcases, lists of all the needed items, and scratching my head.  Where to begin?  When going on a cruise with small children, you truly have to be on top of your game.  If you forget something, you can’t run out and get it.  If you run out of diapers, wow, you are just out of luck!  I can only imagine the MacGuyver type moves it would take to remedy that situation.  So, I truly need to get on top of that situation soon.

I’m so excited to go back to Jamaica.  It was the first country I visited as a little girl.  Other than our friendly neighbors to the North.  We spent nearly every weekend in Canada growing up.  I’m looking forward to climbing Dunn’s River Falls again, but this time with my husband.  My parents are watching the children while we head out to do that, and enjoy a beach party.  The next day we’ll hit up the Cayman Islands for beach fun with the kids and my parents.  We have adjoining rooms, and this should make things a lot more fun.  We can let the kids sleep in one room, and we can relax, play cards (during down time) watch tv, etc in the other.  This will be key during nap times.

I’m shocked that I have truly managed to loose as much weight as I have.  Ok, I have determination, will power, and the belief that my new dietary changes can and will be our new lifestyle.  However, I just didn’t believe my body would cooperate.  Must be lingering infertility doubts about what my body is able to do.  I’m stoked though!  The total is over 63 pounds.  The numbers are coming slow, but they are steady.  Just how they are supposed to be lost.  I’m now in the 130s, and haven’t been this size since high school.  Wow! 

I will say that it’s quite challenging fitting in exercise around the two children.  We make it work though.  That’s why there are naps, exercausers, and Thomas the Train.  I own that one hour.  The kids get to play independently, and I think that’s good for them too.

I started Christmas shopping the other day!  We scored some really great deals at Kohl.’s.  The toys were 40% off, and then my mom had a 30% off coupon.  They even had some G.eo T.rax train track, that she picked up for Braden for Christmas.  Love it!  I’m all about bargain shopping and finding a good deal!  What I should really think about and look into for Christmas is getting Braden into a class at T.he Li.ttle G.ym.  That would really help him socially, and he would have a blast too.  He’s not so sure about being around other children, but loves adults!  Hmm…I’ll put that on the list with the other nine thousand things that need to be done.  What I’m really looking forward to though, is Black Friday.  Which also happens to be my anniversary this year.  Our 5th wedding anniversary at that.  Hmmm…perhaps my husband won’t mind celebrating on Saturday?

My parents are planning a family vacation for next year.  They have decided to take my brother and me along with our respective families.  We have our passports and are all ready to go, but the big question is to where.  The task was becoming too large to plan for nine people alone.  So, my mom created a game.  Each of us would create a vacation with a complete itinerary, and come Christmas we would all vote.  Of course, my parents have the last say, but usually things end in a very democratic way in our family.  Oooh, and the winner gets a secret prize!

Yesterday we went over to my parents’ house for the day, and while in one of their bathrooms I found an old travel magazine from 2006.  It had a large article about villa rentals.  I scoured through and drooled. It was like taking a whirlwind trip around the world.  I was drawn to this article about Costa Rica.  A few years back, my mom and I took a trip there just the two of us.  It was gorgeous!  I’d love to go back, and this villa just might entice us!  If I win the contest of course!  However, this villa is also an option there, if we have additional family that have stated some interest.

Then, we came across some amazing deals in Jamaica!  This villamade me seriously want to pack up my bags instantly!  The good news is that all of them come staffed!  Whoo hoo!

So, every time that my son manages to completely miss the potty today and hoses my wall and everything else in range, I’ll be dreaming of those villas.  Every time I get hosed by the amazing amount of spit up my daughter can produce, I’ll be dreaming of the laundress the villas have on staff.  I’ll be sure to keep you up to date on where our planning takes us.  After all, it’s nice to dream, right?

On other notes, I’ve lost six sizes now.  So proud, and am 100% confident that my lifestyle changes will allow me to maintain this.  Genevieve is apparently allergic to peanuts and perfumes.  Poor girl!  It appears my sweet son is deathly afraid of the dark.  Today’s mission is to hunt down a child friendly flashlight, yellow at that.  He specifically requested yellow.  We have one, but the dancing lights don’t work for him.  The animal shaped ones contain lead and are out of the question.  This little boy is so much like me that is scares me sometimes! 

Ok, off to exercise and get ready for today’s super adventures in spit up dodging, temper tantrum ignoring, and coaching urination target practice.

In response to an anonymous comment:

A few posts back, I wrote about giving birth post adoption.  I knew that when I did so that it just might be controversial.  I put it out there, and as a result, I willingly opened myself up for scrutiny.  I’m ok with this.  You see, prior to adopting, we did much research.  We read books like this one and this one.  I very much recommend them.  We also read and spoke with many people regarding transracial adoption.  We had no way of knowing whether we would adopt transracially, but we became well aware of different issues that may or may not pop up as a result of doing so.  We spoke with countless family members to see how they felt about it.  While no one single factor made our decision, we were at least looking at a big picture.  We needed to know not only how we felt about it, but make sure our family would be equally as excepting of their new family member.  So, we did our homework.

Here is the comment, and please don’t “go off” on the commenter.  They too have a right to their opinion.  I personally may not agree with it, but it is their’s to have.  Just as I respect their comment, I do hope that at some point they may come to understand (not necessarily agree) the other side of the issue.  I am aware that their beliefs surrounding our family building are a compilation of their life experiences, and therefore will not be blasting them.  Rather, I would like to cultivate a bit of understanding. 

The comment:

anonymous // August 22, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Yesterday we made our way to the North Alabama Railroad Museum.  Ok, so there was very little museum to the place.  However, it was FREE.  It’s so rare to find something for a family to do that is free.  What’s with that?  We have a children’s museum (The Historic Huntsville Depot) dedicated to trains, here in Huntsville, but it would have cost us somewhere around $28 to go.  So, instead, we drove out to the lower budget train museum. We were glad we did. 

A very kind elderly gentleman greeted us as we arrived.  It was evident that he was on his way out, despite the fact that guided tours were supposed to be available for two more hours.  I’m guessing he was in his late seventies and ready for his afternoon nap.  Regardless, his face lit up when he saw the children.  “I see some small engineers!” he greeted us with.  He then began to fish around in his pockets for the keys to the trains.  “We old people are on our way home, but you are welcome to stay and wander the grounds as long as you like,” he informed us.  “I’ll show you the inside of the caboose if you want to,” and with that he headed towards the big red caboose.  He did request that we move our vehicle to outside of the museum gates, and so Justin quickly went and relocated the truck.  I was carrying Eve, who is getting quite big these days.  As we approached the steps the kind man looked down at Braden, “Little fella, would you hold my hand please?  I’d hate for you to fall down the steps.  What do you say?”  Braden replied, “Uh huh!  Trains please!”  My heart melted as Braden reached his hand up meeting the old man’s.  It was clear that the old man was over the moon.  He praised Braden’s skills as they climbed the stairs.  As we reached the top, he patted Braden’s head gently and looked at me with a twinkle in his eye.  The man craved touch, and I so desperately wanted to hug him.  What a sweet man.

As we made our way inside the old train, from the fifties, Braden let out a squeal of excitement.  It wasn’t much to look at, but we were INSIDE a train!  The old man gave us the history and pointed out all of the details.  It was quite interesting.  The old man laughed at Braden’s excitement, and thanked us several times for coming as we departed the caboose.  The few elderly volunteers that ran the place left, and we were the only people there.  It was just us and the very old trains.  We wandered around looking at the old refrigerator car, the sleeper, the oldest operational dining car in the country, and on and on.  Braden didn’t need fluff, he was just happy to be standing up close to a real train! 

Then, we heard the sounds of a train in the distance.  Immediately Justin scoops up Braden in his arms and says, “A train is coming!  I’ll meet you over there.  I’m taking our son to see it!”  Next thing I know, the pair are running down the length of the old trains to see a newer one chugging down the tracks.  Instinctively, I cover Eve’s ears.  She’s quite jumpy and any loud noise startles her.  She’s much like her mother in that way.  As we round the corner, we see Braden standing in awe of a real train just a few feet in front of him rolling quickly down the tracks.  By the time us girls get there, he is a bit uneasy.  It’s quite a large train, moving quickly, quite close.  We usually see trains on tv, or while sitting in our car waiting for them to pass.  This was quite a different experience for him. 

We wandered around for a bit longer, playing, and enjoying a beautiful blue sky day.  A few years ago, this was the kind of day I could only dream of having.  It was only in my imagination that I could see my husband pick up our son with such enthusiasm or make silly noises at our daughter.  I was never quite sure that my dreams would become a reality, but under the Alabama blue skies yesterday they became so real.  No matter how crazy they can make life, I am beyond thankful for both of our little miracles.  It’s days like yesterday, that make the debates surrounding adoption, donor eggs, and assisted reproduction seem so very small and irrelevant and small.   

We are looking forward to taking Braden to the Thomas the Tank Engine 2009 tour in Nashville in two weeks.  This time, he’ll get to go for a ride on the train!  We’ll be spending the night at my brother’s house.  What an added bonus that will be for Braden as he will get to play with his girlfriend’s daughter!  We’ll also be celebrating my mom’s birthday, and so all of us will be riding Thomas.  Secretly, I think my mom has a crush on Sir Topham Hatt.

Life is full of challenging things.  It’s worse though when you yourself create those challenges.  Such is the position we are in currently.  Prior to Genevieve’s arrival, Braden would be placed in his big boy bed and go to sleep.  He stayed and slept there all night long without so much as a peep.  It was a parent’s dream come true.  Then came the baby sister, and life has not been the same since.

We were terrified that his screaming and loud protests at night would wake up his premature sister.  So, after much trial and error, we learned that a sippy cup of milk would soothe him, and he would fall asleep.  Well, one sippy cup turned to two and then three.  This meant that the bed turned into an ocean, and meant that we were either changing sheets in the middle of the night or putting the little guy in our bed.  This of course means interrupted sleep for Justin as he is the sheet changer.  Or very little of it for me, because I am the parent of Braden’s choice to literally cling to as if his very life depended on it in bed.  Not to mention the never ending cycle of cleaning sheets.  I am so over it.

Since birth Eve has been swaddled.  The NICU nurses informed us that premature babies need to be swaddled.  It prevents their startle reflex and allows them to get the sleep they required.  Further, the cocoon helps them retain much needed heat.  Then, came the whole, “Your child may need a helmet if her head doesn’t become more well rounded,” issue.  So, onto the scene came the sleep positioner.  Well, once it served it’s purpose, we failed to remove it.  Why?  For fear that our sleeping infant would start screaming and wake her brother.

So, for months now we have been playing the how do we make sure the child doesn’t wake up his or her sibling game.  Not fun.  So, in the past few days we have decided that the insanity stops here.  No more.  No more sippy cups at bed, no more in the middle of the night, enough is enough.  No more.  No more swaddling, no more positioner, enough is enough.  Much screaming has been and will be in our home.  However, after the dust settles there will be calm.  The grown ups over here are determined to get some dang sleep!

So, how is it going?  Pretty well.  We started with Braden.  We allow him to have a few sips of milk from a cup before bed.  Then, complete the evening routine.  Two nights so far have gone smoothly.  Naps have also been sippy cup free and chugging along quite nicely.  As with most of Braden’s transitions, this too has gone surprisingly easy.  The first night stunk, and took an hour and a half to get him to sleep.  However, the second night was considerably shorter.  I’m hoping this is a trend. 

Tonight is Eve’s first night.  She screamed at the very top of her very capable lungs for 10 minutes, got some snuggles for exactly one minute from me, and then put back down to bed.  She cried for five more minutes and fell asleep.  Wow.  The middle of the night will be the real challenge with her.  She is more than capable of sleeping through the night, and she has done it many times before.  It’s time for that middle of the night bottle to go.  She’s five months old and more than over that magical twelve pound marker.  Wish us luck!

Let’s hope there is no need for coffee tomorrow!  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.   I drink decaffe, but still!  I do have that stash of the leaded stuff for emergencies.  Will keep you posted on how things go.